function SelectArchiveLink()
{alert("There's no news archive yet. Currently, this hyperlink's only a placeholder until one can be developed.");}

function MakeArray(n)
{this.length = n
 return this}

function DisplayRandomisedTitlebar()
{nRandom = Math.floor(Math.random()*131)+1
Title = new MakeArray(131)
Title[0] = "Official Site of the World of Alien Darkness"; //Failsafe return value
Title[1] = "Strength is Survival";
Title[2] = "To be or not to be. That is a stupid question.";
Title[3] = "Killing with understanding is to vanquish. Killing without understanding is murder.";
Title[4] = "Now with +45% more twistedness";
Title[5] = "'Sleep?! I don't need no stinkin' sleep!'~ Famous Last Words";
Title[6] = "Shakis will fall. Blood shall be spilled. Hope will survive...";
Title[7] = "We don't need no stinkin' flood protection";
Title[8] = "Off topic? What the hell is that?";
Title[9] = "Because short attention spans rule";
Title[10] = "Gondor needs no burger king";
Title[11] = "I'm not talented, I just waste more time then you do.";
Title[12] = "Where nightmares aren't just confined to amusement parks";
Title[13] = "Don't be afraid of the dark. Let the dark be afraid of YOU.";
Title[14] = "Pain is simply weakness leaving the body";
Title[15] = "Suicide is not an option";
Title[16] = "Your Internet Browser's been hijacked by Crovalahn. Please use Netscape.";
Title[17] = "If you don't have a killer instinct, you haven't a chance.";
Title[18] = "Survival isn't garaunteed";
Title[19] = "If you can read this, you've probably been refreshing too many times.";
Title[20] = "When you hear 'Look Mum! No hands!', you should've turned the meat grinder off.";
Title[21] = "If you can read this, you're spending too much time reading the title bar";
Title[22] = "If you can read this, you accidentally switched your browser settings to English";
Title[23] = "Yeah, let's see Elminster try surviving this.";
Title[24] = "Born of darkness. Raised by nightmares.";
Title[25] = "Reality bites. This one chews 32-times before swallowing.";
Title[26] = "Fame is like a drug. It gets you high, but abusing it makes you forget who you are.";
Title[27] = "It's unique. Like everything else.";
Title[28] = "You can quit refreshing now. Go outside and 'refresh' yourself with some fresh air.";
Title[29] = "The key to success is by learning through failure.";
Title[30] = "Don't disturb me. I'm disturbed enough already.";
Title[31] = "If you're reading this, it's because I've run outta witty one-liners.";
Title[32] = "Few problems can't be solved by an appropriate application of high explosives.";
Title[33] = "Our glory is not in never falling, but finding a soft landing each time we do.";
Title[34] = "Nothing says nasty like an angry Selynah dual-wielding Bioplasm lotusvanes.";
Title[35] = "Your worst nightmare. And you're fresh outta clean bedsheets.";
Title[36] = "Revenge is a dish best served cold.";
Title[37] = "You won't find any of your wussy real-world influences here.";
Title[38] = "We bleed from our wounds, yet we do not die.";
Title[39] = "When fighting for survival, honour is just a self-imposed weakness.";
Title[40] = "The law of reincarnation; Life sucks, then you die. Then life sucks again.";
Title[41] = "Experiences are the currency of the imagination.";
Title[42] = "Where the makers of annoying frog ringtones suffer for eternity.";
Title[43] = "Subliminal advertising is just psychological spyware.";
Title[44] = "Honouring Tolkien's legacy by keeping it outta Vahevia altogether.";
Title[45] = "A battle won is a battle which we will not acknowledge to be lost.";
Title[45] = "Death is the only true peace.";
Title[46] = "Selling your soul on a buyer's market.";
Title[47] = "This one goes to #667.";
Title[48] = "A nightmare that never ends. And it's only just beginning.";
Title[49] = "Wait! You mean Fluid Fantasy was more then just a forum?";
Title[50] = "This was the afterlife God didn't intend for public viewing.";
Title[51] = "Here, the laws of physics can be broken. Murphy's law can't.";
Title[52] = "Enjoy your stay. Please enjoy my verbose, coffee-induced ramblings.";
Title[53] = "A real lotusvane is NOT a toy. But it's a damned good way of getting respect.";
Title[54] = "Innocence is just a corruption that hasn't happened yet.";
Title[55] = "Forget road maps. Only your instincts are gonna give you reliable direction.";
Title[56] = "Not even Ozzy could Prince-ify this darkness.";
Title[57] = "Screaming in pain in over thirty languages.";
Title[58] = "Proudly serving darkness in bite-sized chunks for over four years.";
Title[59] = "Check it out. I'm using the Internet. ROFL, buttseckz?! OMFGLOLASAP!";
Title[60] = "Spilt blood is most painful when spilled cold.";
Title[61] = "An evil so intense, it can only be found on the Internet.";
Title[62] = "Stupidity serves as it's own executioner.";
Title[63] = "Courage is virtue. Fearlessness is ignorance.";
Title[64] = "Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay, and please don't chew the furniature.";
Title[65] = "My campaign setting can beat up your campaign setting.";
Title[66] = "There is no legal disclaimer for the human spirit.";
Title[67] = "Love hurts. Hate kills.";
Title[68] = "Nudging a miniature is the difference between 'Ouch, that hurt' and 'Ouch, that was close.'";
Title[69] = "This site makes less sense the more you read it.";
Title[70] = "Pain is part of the growing experience. In Vahevia, you're gonna grow old pretty quickly.";
Title[71] = "the Silence of the Lambs was broken by the sound of mocking laughter.";
Title[72] = "The flip side of the Discworld that Pratchett didn't want you to see.";
Title[73] = "When you're laughing in the face of Death, he's going to be laughing back.";
Title[74] = "I'm the disturbing, warped, twisted world of Alien Darkness that your mother warned you about.";
Title[75] = "Living life to the 3ds Max";
Title[76] = "You can't put a foot in a closed mouth.";
Title[77] = "No refunds on abused product.";
Title[78] = "When the Key to Success snaps off in the keyhole for the Door of Opportunity, smash a window.";
Title[79] = "The only place you'll find Dark fantasy, Hyperactivity, and chocolate-coated espresso beans.";
Title[80] = "Grisly Death is defined by misplacing chewing gum for an Ehlex pepper.";
Title[81] = "No longer a bunch of messy, disorganised HTML files decomposing on the Author's computer.";
Title[82] = "Ridley Scott would've loved it if he played RPGs.";
Title[83] = "Imagination is the one weapon in the war against Reality TV.";
Title[84] = "Your substitute for family interaction.";
Title[85] = "You're only as popular as your website.";
Title[86] = "Obsession + Google Earth = Stalker+3";
Title[87] = "You so dumb, Headcrabs could die of starvation.";
Title[88] = "You so ugly, the facehuggers went for your arse instead.";
Title[89] = "Anger is only a letter short of danger."
Title[90] = "Don't criticize my mess, unless you'd like to become part of it."
Title[91] = "Never taking a laxative and a sleeping pill in the same night.";
Title[92] = "Scribing a footnote upon the pages of Internet Folklore.";
Title[93] = "If knowledge is power, then God is Google.";
Title[94] = "Where the Grim Reaper makes social calls.";
Title[95] = "Bleeding from thousands of wounds. Outmatched by hundreds of opponents. Lovin' every minute of it.";
Title[96] = "Proudly blessed by PHP, the most gorgeous serverside query language to exist.";
Title[97] = "Hope you packed lots of Band-aids.";
Title[98] = "ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!";
Title[99] = "Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy.";
Title[100] = "Putting the 'fun' back into dysfunctional.";
Title[101] = "My Karma ran over your Dogma.";
Title[102] = "He who never made a mistake never made a discovery.";
Title[103] = "Love your enemies. Your friends might turn out to be a pack of bastards.";
Title[104] = "You can't judge a site by it's taglines.";
Title[105] = "Don't fear the Reaper. Let the Reaper fear YOU.";
Title[106] = "Afraid of what goes bump in the night? Take up a Lotusvane and bump back.";
Title[107] = "Guided by instinct.";
Title[108] = "A cure for your insomnia.";
Title[109] = "It's only one crovalahn. How tough could it be?"
Title[110] = "Not even Nostredamous saw this coming.";
Title[111] = "This domain name is no longer available for registration.";
Title[112] = "Made from 100% Recycled Ideas.";
Title[113] = "Putting the 'Vahevia' into 'Vahevia.com'";
Title[114] = "We know where you live.";
Title[115] = "There's no place like 127.0.0.1";
Title[116] = "Welcome to Murphey's Paradise.";
Title[117] = "Spelunking through the caves of a lunatic's nightmares.";
Title[118] = "Makes Hannibal Lecter look like a freakin' vegetarian.";
Title[119] = "Taking the 'logical' out of 'psychological torture'.";
Title[120] = "It's just like attending church. If screaming, insanity and bleeding profusely is your idea of worship.";
Title[121] = "In Soviet Union, Abyss watches you.";
Title[122] = "Australia's answer to Rammstein.";
Title[123] = "Where staying alive is harder then a priest in a playground.";
Title[124] = "Not to be taken internally.";
Title[125] = "When pigs fly, mice shall rule the Earth.";
Title[126] = "A world of darkness that breeds strength, destroys sanity and bankrupts insurance companies.";
Title[127] = "Life is random. So is this tagline.";
Title[128] = "This is the world of alien darkness your mother warned you about.";
Title[129] = "We're the graffiti on the wall of mainstream fantasy.";
Title[130] = "Like Discworld would've been if Terry Pratchet had've been tripped out on Acid.";
document.title=("Vahevia.com: "+Title[nRandom]);}